tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
