I look better un-naked...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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