maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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