I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
