Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There r osticjed everywhere
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
