so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
