Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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