After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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