That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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