He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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