At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
