He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My penis needs a shock collar
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
