My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
