we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
