ugly people sure do ruin things
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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