so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
