some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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