Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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