Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
