Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You pole danced in your parka.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You did what with his pubic hair?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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