I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
NoShamevember. You game?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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