I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
