This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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