The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
