I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
