Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
