Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
