life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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