I am puke
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
