in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Are we still banned from the library?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
