party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
