I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
