My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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