That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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