time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
