Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
