make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wear drunk well.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
