oh god the rape fog is back!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
