I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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