OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
