just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
