we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
