Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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