areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
