I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
