So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
