last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
