You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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