i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
