I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
