Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
