My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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