Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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