he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
