Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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