and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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