if i can run in heels then i can drive
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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