I wish my penis had an off switch
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
