i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
